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'Cause I'll be damned if I go to the baptism of a bastard! 

– Pat (Ian Mune), isn't happy about his granddaughter's baptism

My stomach looks like a duvet, I leak when I laugh!

– Lindsay (Jodie Dorday), on postpartum life

Most of you aren't used to seeing me like this: sober. No, uh, really, I'm rapt and very, very stoked that Lindsay and Cleary have asked me, have asked us all to come together here to celebrate this new life that they've made. 

– Preacher Dave (John Leigh) opens the newborn's christening

She was a saint! She was a saint, and I didn't tell her ... I loved her. 

– Pat (Ian Mune), in tears talking about his late wife to Raquel (Celia Nicholson)

Is that why you got me here, to get your bit on the side off your chest? Why didn't you just go to confession? It's cheaper.

– Raquel (Celia Nicholson) asks what Pat (Ian Mune) wants from her