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Hero image for The Sex Life of Us - Part One

The Sex Life of Us - Part One

Television (Full Length Episode) – 2007

...Nearly twice as many men think they're adventurous compared to women.
– Mike King reports on a New Zealand survey about sexuality
...President Clinton said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", but undoubtedly, he had oral sex. So is oral sex now sort of the new abstinence? I think views have changed over time, particularly with oral sex. I think a large number of adolescents, particularly, do think that having oral sex still maintains your virginity .... that's part of the discussion that maybe we need to have as well.
– Dr Shane Reti on defining what sex actually is
....I probably look at it from a different perspective,in that for me, it's about increasing the Māori population. Our history tells us that we went through some very trying times where we were almost made extinct.
– Māori Education and Business Consultant Makere Kaa, during the studio discussion on abstinence
I think New Zealanders like to joke about sex — not a lot of serious talking.
– Psychologist and sex therapist Robin Salisbury
We consume viagra like it's going out of fashion around 55, and this is about the time a minority of us develop an interest in swinging — and we're not talking about the playground.
– Mike King summarises statistics for New Zealanders in their fifties
It was mentioned before about "Our kids don’t say no." They're not taught "no". Not from everybody... When I teach, you are allowed to say "no". This is your tinana, who owns it? We do. Who are the best people to know how it works? We are. So once that's infiltrated, it's self-esteem building more than anything else that you're starting with, because it's loss of identity that, I believe anyway, a lot of extracurricular activities end up taking place, because there is very little self-worth.
– Family Planning Association educator Wendy Baker explains why she thinks some Kiwi kids don't say no
We're better emotionally, we're better physical people when we have an enjoyable sex life.
– Dr Shane Reti on the advantages of a healthy sex life
...in my early days I probably would have said no. But because I was approached at 42, I thought "What the hell — of course I'll do it, you know? I've obviously got the look and the goods they want" ... it was an honour type thing, you know? Me doing a porn movie? Great.
– Roger Beresford on acting in an adult film, near the end of this special
...I’m proud of what I do and if people don't like it, I'm not going to worry about it.
– Chloe, who dances at The White House
The visitors to Erotica are everybody. They are adult New Zealanders: it's across the board. You cannot put them into basket. We are 55% female, 45% male. We are average age of about 35, but the sort of median range is 30 to 55. We are mostly married couples, or certainly people with partners. So, it is middle class New Zealand.
– Steve Crow, founder of Erotica Lifestyles Expo
How do we teach our rangitahi to make good decisions around relationships? What influences their decisions, especially Māori? If they've had the cultural struggle, how does that affect them when they get to adolescence? How can they make good, firm, well-informed decisions if they're not sure of who they are?
– Karanga Morgan, from kaupapa Māori health service Te Puāwai Tapu, on how cultural identity can feed into decisions about sex
...we strongly believe that parents are the first educators of their children about every topic, including sexuality issues, and yet parents really want to withhold information. For some reason, they feel that giving information and talking about it comfortably and openly will destroy their child's innocence.
– Sexual Health Promoter Cordelia Locket on the role of parents in sex education
I know, it's as natural as breathing, but it still remains a topic no one likes to talk about — and the truth is, there are a lot of people in Aotearoa who know next to nothing about sex, and everything that goes with it.
– Co-presenter Stacey Morrison, at the start of this special
I'm a firm believer that there are two types of people in the world — there are people that admit to masturbating, and liars.
– Panellist Te Radar cracks a joke
I think the emphasis on it is adding to the cultural pressure for young girls to have penetrative sex before they're ready.
– Psychologist Pru Fisher
...it's the act of sex that makes it sacred; it's the relationships and the intimacy levels that support that. So, for Māori to talk about sex in isolation, it's tapu because of the impact it has on our genealogy, on our whakapapa and our generations to come.
– Karanga Morgan, from kaupapa Māori health service Te Puāwai Tapu, on the place of sex in Māori culture