Dead Certs

Not one favourite's won a single race. Now the law of averages says roughies can't go on winning. Number eight — she's just the ticket.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) decides his next bet

Martha — I think I've got tomorrow's race results.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) has a revelation

You know you don't have to do this Hare. You’re just throwing your money away. Even if you win, you’ll loose.

– Kindly TAB teller Tanya (Vanessa Rare) to Hare (Rawiri Paratene)

Hey Martha will you listen to me? This horse is a dead cert.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) to Martha (Ginette McDonald), early in Dead Certs

That's what I like about you Martha — at heart you’re such a softie.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) practices irony with Martha (Ginette McDonald)

I would have been a really good mum — if it wasn't for those lousy buggers I was married to.

– Martha (Ginette McDonald)

...I’m gonna give you the most fantastic funeral that's ever been seen around here: marble coffin, huge headstone, the biggest glass bowl of everlasting flowers in the cemetery.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) assures Martha’s ghost of a grand send-off

It is not hocus pocus. Lady luck is hocus pocus — this is system. This is science. This is what punting's all about.

– Hare (Rawiri Paratene) defends his betting system to Martha (Ginette McDonald)

Hare you can stop now . . . we don't need big bikkies, we’ve got what we want. If you keep on betting, we’ll lose the lot.

– Martha (Ginette McDonald) tells Hare to quit betting while he’s ahead

You off to throw all your money away on lady luck again?

– Martha (Ginette McDonald) delivers the opening line of this TV movie

You see that's what gets me about you people around here: you come in here, you stand around, you treat the place like your own backyard and expect me to clean up after you. You expect to treat me as your bank; you don't spend enough money to keep the doors open. Now if you want to place a bet: cash. If you don't want to place a bet, stand aside for someone who does.

– Newly arrived TAB manager Wayne (Ken Blackburn) complains about the punters, early in Dead Certs

Look at ya — you're a grown man. You're worth nothing. Spend all your time on the horses. What's wrong with ya?

– Martha (Ginette McDonald) to Hare (Rawiri Paratene)

And here he is viewers: the Ōtara punter, the man who has successfully equalled the Australasian record of seven straight wins. His pool is a record from a five dollar first bet. How does it feel Hare? Are you gonna try for one more?

– Racing reporter Phil Gerard (Mark Ferguson) tries to get Hare to say something on camera