Moon TV (series four, episode six)

To a degree we have gone back to basics — getting on the road, having fun and meeting people along the way. Living with five grown men in a camper van for ten weeks certainly enabled us to grow emotionally, intellectually and to some degree sexually. If I could do it all again I would probably take two vans.

– Leigh Hart, in a March 2007 press release warning about the show

...we love getting your calls. Think about them first though — we've had some stupid questions. Read them out to a friend, okay.

– Leigh Hart advises phone-in viewers to ask decent questions during Ritchie McCaw's interview

Mark — I appreciate you coming down from Dargaville and stuff, but quite frankly I don't remember hiring you. Ok I'm not saying I didn't, I'm not saying I wouldn't have, I just don't remember it. You know what I'm saying?

– Leigh Hart dresses down the Moon TV crew, early in the episode

I guess as a captain it's pretty important you stay calm, because if you're not calm, the rest of them aren't calm. So even when you feel under pressure, and battling a bit, you've got to outwardly look like you have it all under control.

– Ritchie McCaw manages to get a word in, during his interview

Colin has never been to Amsterdam — he's an alcoholic pet shop owner from Takanini.

– Narrator Darryl Habraken describes Colin, the Hamsterman from Amsterdam

Cheese Master 2000 is a front-loading VHS video recorder, that I've converted into a cheese toastie machine. I believe that we are the only front-loading cheese toastie VHS recorder machines currently on the market...

– Ted Masters (Leigh Hart) presents his latest invention to potential investors