Serial Killers - Full Series

You think they're going to complete the bits of you that need completing, and love the bits of you that need loving, and protect the bits of you that need protecting, and then you work out that they snore and they fart, and fidelity is a concept applied only to stereo equipment. And then they knock you up.

– Pauline (Robyn Malcolm) complains about men, in episode three

So I got the treaty and I read it — the whole thing ... and nowhere in it, is there anything about television.

– Sally (Tandi Wright) tries to comprehend how the Treaty of Waitangi relates to her job producing a soap operas, in episode six

...not in a dead kind of way so that I can't be in the show anymore; I want to be nearly dead.

– Soap actor Andrew (Dean O'Gorman) makes another request to the writing team, in episode four

I gave up a perfectly good root for you guys — the things I do.

– Simone (Kayte Ferguson) on the sacrifices she makes for the writing team, in episode six

And just for the record — do you make a point of hitting every critic who writes a bad review?

– Sally (Tandi Wright) to Pauline (Robyn Malcolm) after a stoush in episode one

Ah well...we'll crush their spirits again on Monday.

– Alan (John Leigh) after some of the younger writers unexpectedly deliver the goods, in episode seven

It's not as dark as the play, it's more fun. Johnny Leigh's character in the play was a lot angrier and a lot more disillusioned.

– James Griffin compares the TV version of Serial Killers with his original play, The NZ Herald, 15 April 2004

She wants the right to pick and choose her own stories ... I don't know what stories are going to offend her, and I don't care, because where I come from writers write the stories; actors act them.

– Pauline (Robyn Malcolm) on requests for more input into her character by Māori actor Elisabeth James (Miriama Smith), in episode six

...but if we wrote out every egotistical wanker actor on the show...

– Sally (Tandi Wright) questions the idea of killing off a character from soap Heart of Hearts, in episode seven

You know, even when I was lying in that pit of chicken feed, with a rooster on my head, at least I had my dignity.

– Actor Andrew (Dean O'Gorman) complains about what the writing team put him through, in episode five