...I know that on paper you are an attractive man. It doesn't mean I am attracted to you! I just know that your features are very, very attractive.
– Tom (Tom Sainsbury) tries to backpedal to Chris (Chris Parker), in episode one
I've never read the manilla! I hate the manilla! Stop sending me the manilla!
– Chris (Chris Parker) complains about the research notes, in episode two
And so you just plug it into your cigarette lighter socket and urethra! You've got TV.
– The salesman (Matt Whelan) gets confused about a common phrase, in episode three
Your whole life flashed before my eyes, Chris!
– Tom (Tom Sainsbury) in a moment of terror, in episode four
Why would I say 'Friar hydrant'? That's ludicrous.
– The Parking Warden (Alice Snedden) fails to enjoy Tom (Tom Sainsbury) and Chris' (Chris Parker) jokes, in episode five
OK after I've paid the bill, how about I take you to McDonald's drive through for soft serves, yeah?
– 06.25 (Davina) Danielle Cormack trying to keep her hostages happy, episode six
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